


Set Your Sights on the Sun

by secondstar



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-19
Updated: 2012-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-29 19:41:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/323431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondstar/pseuds/secondstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Generations ago biological warfare caused a pandemic, resulting in most of the world's population dying. Presently, in a post-apocalyptic dystopian society, lives are torn apart in a search for lost information.</p><p>beta'd by albion_lass @ lj</p>
            </blockquote>





	Set Your Sights on the Sun

Prologue

The world was dreary, wearisome, and god damn disheartening. No one living remembered a time that was not oppressive and dispiriting. A police state in which no one spoke in public, and hadn’t for at least two generations was reality. Years upon years of monotonous and dismal life dulled the senses of most of the population. A police state for ‘their protection’, but no one seemed to remember why they needed protecting.

There had been a war, once. Little was known about the catastrophe that changed the world. Biological warfare, unleashed on its own population accidentally in what became known as World War III, changed the world’s view on medicine. The pandemic took out most of the population and fear of disease infected survivors’ minds. Shunned and looked down upon by the government as whole, medicine became illegal and doctors were lined up and shot. Books were burned, along with bodies. A way of life evaporated. Medicine became extinct.

With the fall of medicine came disease. Disease was blamed on the pandemic, the war. Destruction and death wreaked havoc on the remaining population. Eventually, medicine creeped back into society. Information of medicine became valued by the masses in secret. Knowledge of medicine and pharmacies were black market material. Vaccines were long forgotten, surgery a thing of the past. If you got sick you were fucked, dead before long due to inability and lack of resources. One of the only traces of it that was left were condoms, used and known only for population control.

In public, everyone wore face masks. Hooked around the ears, cloth or paper. Subways were packed, public transportation the only means to get around for most of the population. Electronics were passed up by most, knowing full well that television was full of propaganda and cell phones could be traced, listened in on. ‘For the greater good’ was a slogan used everywhere. Huge screens, spat out slogans, brain washing material telling the inhabitants of London that the world they lived in was safe and perfect. Where video cameras watched your every move, and curfew should never be breached.

After ten pm, the streets are empty. Patrols walked the streets. Those that were found after curfew were fined heavily. Families shared flats, packed in tight. Living was cheaper that way, with prices high. Taxes may have skyrocketed, but there were some that knew the way life was in the present wasn’t always the case.

Resistance is everywhere. From using morse code instead of cell phones, to underground makeshift hospitals where you could have someone hand you pain medication or stitch up a gash. Midwives who knew how to deliver babies safely, kitchens that handed out food, and people who wanted something more in life.

Utopia means two things, the good place and the place that cannot be. The world, as a whole, was on the brink of righting itself from the outside in. The government was losing power of the mind, and instead bringing about a revolt.

They turned to the past, where things went wrong. Maybe medicine is exactly what they needed to make the world right again.

 

I 5731  
i.

Steven Gerrard opened the door to the small flat that he shared with his friends and took off his face mask, stuffing it into his pocket as he shut the door behind him. Jamie Carragher was reading a book and listening to the radio. Pirate radio stations went up one day and were down the next, but for now: there was music. This station was not filled with empty lyrics that brain washed the masses. No, this was generations old.

“Found it again, Carra?” Steven asked, giving his best friend a smirk. Jamie nodded, not looking up from his book. On the streets, everyone was quiet and subdued, not wanting to bring attention to themselves. Alone to their own devices, people were as different as snowflakes. The government wanted them all the same, but there is no way to make everyone uniform, for them not to have their own personalities.

“How was the soup kitchen?” Jamie asked. Steven shrugged as he sat and sighed.

“Same as everyday. People are starving.” Steven bit his lip, looked towards the door of his and Xabi’s room. “Is he home?” Steven asked, looking at his watch. Jamie raised and eyebrow and shook his head. It was nearing ten.

“You know him, he has to skirt the edge. Push the time as long as possible.” Steven let out a groan as he shut his eyes. Long days and short nights filled their time. Sneaking around, one of them to help feed the needy, the other... well. He opened his eyes just as the clock on the wall struck ten, the door opened. In walked Xabi Alonso, looking exhausted and forlorn. Steven shot up from the couch and walked over to him, cupping Xabi’s cheeks with his hands.

“Are you alright?” He asked. Xabi, with eyes closed, nodded as he put his head on Steven’s shoulder.

“Long day.” He whispered as his bag dropped from his grasp, landing with a thud on the ground. “Lacy died.” Steven frowned.

“You didn’t have the supplies needed to-”

“I know, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t try.” Xabi said, stepping back. Steven bit his lip, looking down at Xabi heavy bag, full of books. Books that the government thought were long gone.

“You walked around with those?” Steven asked, his eyes wide. Xabi didn’t look him in the eye. “You have to be careful-”

“Don’t talk to me about being careful. I know what I am doing.” Xabi said, looking up into Steven’s eyes. Steven pursed his lips as Xabi walked around him and into their room. Once their door was shut Steven looked to Jamie, who looked at him and shook his head.

“I’ve got nothing to add to you two and his informational problem.” Steven rolled his eyes. Informational problem was putting it lightly, to say the least. Xabi had medical books. Xabi’s family had been doctors. Or, well, one of them had been. His great great grandfather perhaps, or a generation before that. Time was irrelevant, but the knowledge wasn’t. Not many people knew, for obvious reasons. Sure, people knew of him. The one that could heal, had a clinic that moved almost daily. Xabi was living a dangerous life, walking around with not only the knowledge, but hard evidence.

Steven sighed heavily. Then, the door to the other bedroom, the third, opened and out walked Dirk Kuyt and Lucas Leiva, their other room mates. Jamie currently had no room mate. John Riise hadn’t returned from work weeks back. Everyone knows that if a person goes missing, well, they wouldn’t be returning. People disappeared all the time, no one knew why they were taken and they were never given a reason for anyone’s disappearance.

“Oh, you’re home now.” Dirk said, looking at the clock and raising an eyebrow. “Cutting it close again.” Steven shrugged.

“Not nearly as close as Xabi.”

“You two are going to get caught someday and not come home.” Lucas said as he walked into the small kitchen. “I made dinner, if you’re hungry.” Steven shook his head.

“I ate at the kitchen but Xabi probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Steven leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. He looked at the door, then down at the floor.

“I can heat up a plate, no problem.” Lucas said, giving Steven a small smile.

“I’ll tell him.” Steven said as he walked towards he and Xabi’s room. He didn’t knock on the door, just walked in, shutting it behind him. The room was dim, only the bedside lamp was on. Xabi was sitting on the bed in his underwear, hands held up by his elbows as they covered his face. Steven walked over to him, putting his hands on Xabi’s shoulders.

“I didn’t mean it, about the books.” Steven offered. Xabi shoulders moved as if he had laughed. If anything the laugh would have been sarcastic. Xabi looked up at Steven, his hands dropping, touching Steven’s thighs.

“Yes, you did.” Xabi whispered. He looked tired, worn down. Steven didn’t blame him. He probably looked the same.

“I just don’t want you to not come home one night.” Xabi bit his lip as Steven said those words. “If you ever went missing like John, like Sami-”

“I won’t.” Xabi said, his voice hushed but firm. Steven got down on his knees in front of Xabi, Xabi’s hands immediately cupping Steven’s face, kissing him. “They’ve started raids.” Xabi said, his lips still against Steven’s, his thumbs rubbing Steven’s cheeks. Steven’s hands were on Xabi’s thighs, squeezing them. Steven shut his eyes.

“I heard. Taking families of descendants-” Xabi captured his lips again.

“They won’t find me.” Steven sighed into the kiss, his hands sliding upwards, along with his body. He pushed Xabi’s back onto the bed as he straddled him. Xabi grunted beneath him.

“You can’t be sure.” Steven said, his hands on Xabi’s chest. Xabi licked his lips.

“My papers don’t have the name of any doctor on them. It was my mother’s side.” Xabi whispered. “And they’ve already questioned me.” He added. Steven’s breath hitched in his throat as he remembered that day. Xabi hadn’t come home. In the morning, he showed up, unmarred. Steven hadn’t slept at all that night, inconsolable by Jamie. It had been the same week John went missing. Xabi reached a hand up to Steven’s face. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, alright?”

One would think after years together, they wouldn’t have the same arguments almost every day. Safety was a farce, a false sense of security is the bubble they lived under. They had avoided trouble so far, but things were getting worse.

There was a knock at the door and Steven rolled off of Xabi, standing beside the bed in a heart beat as Lucas opened the door. Xabi sat up, his hands in his lap, cheeks flushed.

“Sorry,” Lucas said, smirking. “Steven did you tell him I had dinner for him?” Xabi looked up at Steven who ran his fingers through his hair, eyebrows raised.

“No, he didn’t.” Xabi said, letting a small smile creep up, his eyes not leaving Steven. “I’ll be out in a minute, thanks.” Lucas shut the door behind him. “Dinner?” Xabi asked. Steven laughed.

“I was a little preoccupied.” Steven said as he sat back down on the bed. Xabi hummed as Steven’s lips met his in another kiss. He pulled him closer, his fingers gripping Steven’s shirt tight.

“I can tell.” Xabi said as he got up to get dressed. Steven caught Xabi’s wrist, holding him back from their small dresser. Xabi turned to look at Steven.

“I love you.” Steven whispered. Xabi’s shoulders slumped slightly, his teeth gnawed at his lower lip.

“I love you too.” He spoke softly.

“I feel like we don’t say it enough.” Steven said as he dropped Xabi’s hand. Xabi pulled a shirt over his head, then sweat pants, loungewear for the night.

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t true, though.” Xabi said, pushing Steven towards the door, leading him out into the small living room where there was a card game going on, the radio turned off.

“What happened to the music?” Steven asked, he had liked what had been playing.

“Station was shut down, they started up with their news bull.” Jamie said, taking a sip of whiskey, then folding his hand. Xabi leaned against the counter as he ate. There was no kitchen table, they hadn’t the room for one. A couch and a coffee table, the radio, and a table it sat on were the only furniture in the room. Lucas, Jamie, and Dirk were seated on the floor surrounding the coffee table, drinks on the floor next to them. Steven climbed over the side of the couch and sat behind Jamie, watching the game lazily. The clock struck eleven and Dirk stood up. He was in his work clothes, a patrol uniform.

“I’ll be back after dawn.” He said, patting his back pocket, making sure he had his papers with him. Even though he was a patrol officer, he still needed his papers on him at all times. He wouldn’t want to go missing.

“See you.” Lucas said as he took up the cards. “You want in, Stevie?” He asked. Steven shook his head as Dirk left, shutting the door behind him.

“No, I’m knackered. I’ve got to be up early, have the morning shift.”

“You work too hard not to get paid.” Jamie said, finishing his drink off. Steven pursed his lips, looking to Xabi. Xabi tilted his head, that small smile that Steven loved graced his features as he took the last bite.

“Some things need doing in order for others not to suffer.” Xabi said as he washed his dish. “Steven should do it if it makes him feel better.” Jamie’s eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, but he could be making money, you two could move out and get your own place-”

“No.” Steven said. “We are not leaving you.”

“It would raise suspicion, surely.” Xabi stated. “Two people in a place, neither of which have papers for jobs.” Steven didn’t get paid, he was a volunteer and a donor to the soup kitchen, with Xabi’s money. Xabi, with his black market clinic, made more than enough for the two of them. Before, Steven had worked in a factory along with Jamie and John. He and Xabi met by happenstance. Every morning they took the same train, with their masks on, silent. Every morning they got on, made eye contact, then got off. Xabi was always on before Steven, and stayed on after Steven’s stop. One day, though, Steven stayed on. He had followed Xabi, who walked into an alley way only to push Steven up against the wall and ask why he was stalking him. Steven pulled down his mask, and smiled.

“I just wanted to know more about you.” He whispered. Xabi had taken a step back, mask still on, looking at Steven fully for the first time. Slowly, he took his mask off. It was the first time Steven saw the half smile that Xabi was known for, a small smirk that played across his lips.

It took a year and some change for Xabi to open up, tell Steven who and what he was: a descendant. Xabi had been scared, knowing what he was going to say to Steven but not knowing the outcome. Steven was quiet, after Xabi told him everything. Xabi was scared that come morning not only would Steven be gone, but he would turn him in. Steven, of course, just nodded once and looked Xabi in the eye.

“We have to protect you then, don’t we?”

Three years later, the strain was showing. Steven’s eyes on him whenever he left, looking him over as if he was memorizing him in case he never came back. Each kiss goodbye seemed sad, every peck on the cheek as a hello was a breath of relief. Xabi wouldn’t stop treating people, though. He couldn’t. Not when he knew he could help. No hospitals, no doctors. No prescriptions, no operations. Xabi had come across someone who called himself Pirata, whose family had been pharmacists. He and Pirata moved around together, setting up shop as it were. Xabi sewed cuts, told Pirata what to give people. He told people what to do for flu, for a cold, did strep tests, and delivered babies. Anything he knew how to do, he did. He never turned people away. Money was offered to him, never taken. His days and nights were full, people always found him. He was a secret that no one talked about, that no one wanted to turn over to the patrols.

“Don’t want you bastards to move out anyways.” Jamie said, getting up in order to refill his glass. Xabi tilted his head, his arms crossed as he caught Steven’s eye, then walked back into their room. The room was bare, with one dresser and a bed. Shoes were in a corner, along with a stack of books that Xabi has saved, that were passed down to him. Xabi pulled down the quilt, the sheets, then slipped into the bed. Within moments the door opened and Steven walked in. Xabi waited for the bed to dip down, waited for Steven to pull off his jeans, his shoes, and shirt before getting underneath the covers himself. Steven’s arms wrapped around Xabi easily, pulling him close.

“You going in early?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded, his hand cupping Xabi’s face, his fingers against Xabi’s scruff. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, hurrying out as soon as he woke up. Xabi closed his eyes at the touch.

“Yeah, Didi wanted to spend the morning with his family, it’s his kid’s birthday.” Xabi nodded.

“He should spend it with them, then.” Xabi said, sighing. “Maybe I should split my shift tomorrow, to spend time with you.” He added. Steven smiled, shaking his head.

“How about you... work until dinner then come home. We could make something together.” They never ate together anymore, it seemed. Always in a hurry, the both of them. Xabi bit his lip. “One day.”

“Alright. I’ll leave as the sun is setting.” Steven smiled, kissing Xabi on the lips. Xabi turned the light off, and they fell asleep easily.

ii.

Before the sun came up, Steven was up, stumbling around in the dark as he got ready. He kissed Xabi lightly on the forehead before he left for the day, to which he got a short grunt as Xabi spread out across the bed.

The line at the kitchen was around the block when Steven arrived. People wanting a bite to eat before work, before asking or begging for anything to do to help pay bills, taxes. Steven never carried money on him, nothing more than a few notes, some change. The change was usually given out, though. He would want someone to give him spare change if he was in their predicament. He considered himself lucky to have Xabi. Sometimes it felt like he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, along with Xabi. Xabi had the knowledge and the means to do a lot of good, and was doing it as quietly and as secretly as possible. People were dying needlessly everywhere, from infections that could easily be treated, from not cleaning properly. Steven didn’t understand some of the things Xabi told him, but some he thought made sense and he wondered why people didn’t do them, such as wash your hands before you handled food, after the rest room...germs were everywhere. ‘Germ’ wasn’t even a word that Steven had heard of before Xabi.

There was a month where, after Xabi explained what germs were, Steven washed his hands so much that he rubbed them raw. He took three showers a day, and washed his clothes three times more often than normal. Jamie thought Steven had gone off his rocker.

By the time the morning rush dissipated, Steven couldn’t wait to go home. He wanted to spend time with Xabi. Really spend time with him, not just fall into a bed exhausted after having an argument that happened almost daily. Some days, he brought food home from the kitchen for everyone in their flat. He cooked all day, everyday, for mass amounts of people. Now, all he could think about was going home and making a meal for just he and Xabi. He thought about steak perhaps, or ribs. Xabi loved ribs. They usually had those on their anniversary, though.

The day went fast. After Steven prepared and served lunch he left, going home for a second to get some money to go food shopping. Lines were always long, just like at the soup kitchen. There was always food, but store clerks were slow. They could only sell a certain amount of bread per day, a certain amount of anything. They blamed the deliveries, blamed anyone they could that wasn’t the government. Daily patrols were about, the cameras caught anything and everything when you were out in public.

Steven stood in line, mask on, for a good thirty minutes before he was even let in the store. Only a certain amount of people could be inside at a time. He decided on steak with mushrooms with a side of mashed potatoes. He even bought steak sauce, which may or may not cause an argument in itself. The store clerk raised an eyebrow at the expensive meal he was buying, but said nothing. No one ever talked from behind the masks. The clerk bagged his groceries, and Steven handed over the cash. Xabi didn’t use a bank, not when his job wasn’t registered. Neither of them had papers for a job, technically. The clerk could, if he wished, ask to see Steven’s papers. How could a jobless person afford such a meal? He didn’t though, just like Steven thought. Why bring hell upon someone needlessly? Turning a blind eye is what the masses did every day, to almost everything around them. It wasn’t their business, what went on in other people’s lives. If you wanted to survive you kept your head down, eyes to the floor, and stayed silent.

Once home safely, Steven took a shower. The flat was empty, except for Dirk, who was asleep after working all night. Clean and refreshed, Steven turned on the radio, spending a few minutes trying to find a pirate radio station. He was unsuccessful, much to his dismay. He decided to tune it to a news station, just to know what was going on even if he had to filter it down to really figure out the truth. News stations never said what was really going on, sugar coating everything as if everyone didn’t know what was happening around them. They talked about the rise in alcohol prices, which made Steven grimace as he thought of Jamie. Most of his paychecks went to whiskey already. ‘Increased security’ during the day, double patrols at night. ‘Zoning in on black markets’ were words that were always said but had no real substance behind it. They say it because they wanted people to think black markets were bad, that they were shutting them down for their own good.

In reality, it was the only place you could find radios without a chip that could listen in on your conversations in the privacy of your own home, the only place that you could get pills for headaches and muscle relief. Steven’s interest was peaked when he heard the announcer say that a number of illegal professions were shut down in the west end. They lived in the west end. It could be anything from a brothel to a warehouse that sold dechipped electronics. It didn’t have to mean Xabi’s clinic. Steven looked at the clock, Xabi should be home soon if he came home before dusk like he promised he would.

Xabi was running late. He had lost track of time, what with Pirata not showing up at the meeting place they set up the day before. Xabi took the tube, getting off a stop before where the clinic would be, in order to meet Pirata. They never got off at the correct stop. He waited for thirty minutes for him, before walking alone. The abandoned store was locked, but Xabi worked quickly to pick the lock. He took a small piece of chalk out of his bag, drawing a small design on the door frame before walking in, letting people who walked by, who knew what it meant, that he was here for the day.

Without Pirata, he worked slower. He couldn’t hand out medicine without Pirata, he didn’t carry the supplies. There wasn’t much he could do without it, technically, but he still saw as many people as he could.

“All I have is ibuprofen. I can’t give you anything more.” Xabi said as he handed over three doses of it in a small bag. He only had one bottle of it, and hydrogen peroxide. Gauze, supplies for stitches, and his stethoscope. He and Pirata moved most of the supplies at night, last thing, to their next destination. Last night, Pirata said he would move his medications in the morning, before they opened. Xabi wished he hadn’t changed the plan. His gut sank when he thought about Pirata going missing. By the time he looked up at the clock, it was past time he was due home. “Shit.” He whispered under his breath as he realized he had to tell the rest of the line that he wouldn’t be able to see them until the next day, then he told them the vicinity he would be in. He gathered his things, rubbing away the design on the door frame. As he left he watched as those who were homeless filtered back into the abandoned store. Having a roof over their heads and a hot meal were all they wanted. Xabi smiled to himself as he thought about Steven serving them food, perhaps. At least the store would keep them warm for the night. Xabi hopped on the tube, which was standing room only, holding his bag close. He had to drop his supplies off still, but he was so late. Perhaps he would take them in the morning, along with going to get Pirata’s medicine, since he knew where it was. Double the things he would have to carry daily. In the end it would be worth it, though.

He walked up the stairs to the shared flat, entering the apartment to find Steven seated on the couch with a drink in his hand. Xabi’s face fell, he felt awful for making him wait. The sun was way past down, he was more than two hours late. Steven didn’t look up at him, but straight ahead. Xabi flung his bag over his head, putting it on the floor with a thunk.

“I’m sorry.” He said, sounding defeated. “I really didn’t mean it-”

“Don’t make excuses.” Steven said standing up. Xabi bit his lip. “I made dinner without you, knew you’d be hungry as soon as you got home.” Steven’s voice was monotoned, emotionless. Xabi could feel tears welling up. They were going to make the food together. He watched Steven take two plates out of the oven. Steaks, Steven had bought steaks for them, with mushrooms. Xabi loved that meal. It made him feel worse. Steven put the plates on the coffee table, then looked at Xabi.

“Pirata didn’t show up.” Xabi blurted out. Steven’s eyes widened.

“What?” He asked, worry filling his voice. “Are you alright?” He came forward, his hands on Xabi’s shoulders, pulling him close. Tears fell silently as Xabi closed his eyes, his arms wrapping around Steven’s waist as his head rested on Steven’s shoulder.

“No, I’m not. I’m not okay. I was late to our date.” Xabi said, sniffling back tears as he pushed off of Steven gently. “My colleague is gone and I ruined our date.” Xabi wanted more than anything to go get Pirata’s medicine, but he wanted to be near Steven. He needed him. Steven sighed.

“It’s not ruined, it is nice and hot, come on.” Steven said, taking Xabi’s hand and bringing him over to sit by the coffee table. “Do you want to talk about it?” Steven asked as they sat. Xabi shook his head.

“There is nothing to talk about. He’s gone.” Xabi said, staring at his food, not eating it. “Steven, I’m not hungry.” His voice was low, barely a whisper. Steven nodded.

“That’s fine, we can put the plates back in the oven, to keep them warm.” Steven said as he leaned in, kissing Xabi. Xabi closed his eyes, breathing Steven in as he deepened the kiss. Steven pulled Xabi onto his lap, his hands on Xabi’s waist as Xabi straddled him, cupping Steven’s face with his hands as they continued kissing. They hadn’t kissed like this in ages, it felt like. Desperate, wanting more as their hands slid over each other’s bodies, mouths leaving trails across their skin.

A throat was cleared and Xabi stopped kissing Steven, looking up to find Jamie with his arms crossed.

“You lads have a room.” He said, amusement played across his face. Xabi was blushing, as he rolled off of Steven and sat on the couch. Steven got up, running his fingers through his hair, then put the plates back in the oven, clearing his throat.

“You’re right, Carra. We’ll just be...”

“Yeah, good idea.” Jamie laughed. Steven took Xabi’s hand, leading them into their room. As the door shut, Xabi had Steven pinned against the wall beside it, his hands on Steven’s shirt, pulling it over his head. Once it was off, Xabi’s mouth was on Steven’s collarbone, sucking and nipping at it. Steven groaned, hitting his head against the wall as his eyes closed. Xabi’s hand slid down, cupping Steven through his jeans as his mouth found Steven’s. Xabi squeezed lightly, making Steven moan into his mouth as they kissed.

Steven gripped the back of Xabi’s neck, flipping him so that Xabi’s back was against the wall instead of his. Xabi grunted as he was slammed against the wall, desperate hands against his skin as Steven tugged at his jeans, forcing them down his thighs as he dropped to his knees. Xabi gasped as Steven took him into his mouth, continuing to slip Xabi’s jeans and boxers down his legs until Xabi could step out of them fully. Xabi’s hand went to Steven’s hair, tugging it slightly as he panted, looking down at Steven as he blew him.

Steven’s finger grazed across Xabi’s entrance, making Xabi moan, licking his lips then biting down. Xabi pushed Steven back from him, pulling him up to stand as he captured his lips, walking him over to the bed. He needed Steven, he needed him close. Pirata was gone, never coming back. He needed to feel safe and the arms of Steven were all he wanted. Steven grabbed Xabi’s neck, pushing him onto the bed, onto his back. Xabi took off his shirt, flinging it to the ground as Steven maneuvered Xabi, spreading his legs, pushing them up towards his face. Xabi keened when Steven’s mouth was on his entrance, lapping at it, opening him up. Xabi’s teeth left indentions on his bottom lip from biting down. Steven added a finger, along with his tongue. Xabi’s toes curled, his back arched at the intrusion. Chest heaving, Xabi licking his lips, wanting more.

“Stevie, please.” He whispered, his hand grasping for Steven’s hair. Steven licked up Xabi’s entrance, up his shaft, leaving open mouthed kisses on his thighs before he got a condom out of their sock drawer. He rolled it on, then crawled back on the bed, pulling Xabi’s legs closer to him as he lined himself up with Xabi’s entrance. Xabi wrapped his legs around Steven’s waist as Steven entered him, holding onto Xabi’s hips for leverage as he fucked him. A fast, desperate pace was established, Xabi’s fingers wrapped around Steven’s wrists as lewd noises of skin against skin filled the room along with their grunts and gasps.

Steven leaned down, his hands moving to hook around Xabi’s shoulders as his mouth found Xabi’s neck, his lips pressed against the skin there. Xabi’s fingers raked down Steven’s back as he changed the pace, slow and deep. Steven’s every touch sent shivers up and down his body as he fucked him. Xabi’s legs fell, hooking around Steven’s lower legs as Steven nipped at his skin, then licked at the same area.

Xabi’s hand went to his own erection, jacking himself off quickly as he gasped, squirming against Steven, his other hand on Steven’s arm, nails digging into his flesh. He came in waves, chest heaving, his body covered in sweat. Steven stilled over him, reaching his own climax and pulling out, his lips finding Xabi’s easily as he lay down next to him, his arm over Xabi’s chest. Xabi closed his eyes, turning his head towards Steven’s.

“I don’t deserve you.” Xabi whispered. Steven scoffed as he discarded the condom in the trash can nearby the bed.

“Don’t be daft, Xabi.” Steven said as he ran his fingers through Xabi’s hair. Xabi sighed as got up to wash off. He walked into their bathroom, turning the shower. He washed quickly, soaping up, and cleaning off, then stepped back out again, drying off. As soon as he was done, he got back in bed, putting his leg over Steven’s, pulling his body close. “You hungry?” Steven asked. Xabi hummed, his eyes closing. He was hungry, he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Yes, steak. Mushrooms with mashed potatoes.”

“Steak sauce.” Steven added, his lips against Xabi’s forehead. Xabi’s eyes opened.

“You got steak sauce?” Xabi sat up. Steven laughed.

“It was supposed to be a date, remember?” Xabi pursed his lips to keep from smiling.

“We just fucked, I consider this a date.” Xabi mused. Steven nodded.

“I think if we actually eat you would be correct.”

After dinner, which was eaten in sweats only, they went back to bed, falling asleep curled up against each other, fingers intertwined.

iii.

Xabi woke up before dawn. He sat up, wide awake, looking at the clock. He had time to go get Pirata’s medicine before work. He got out of bed as quietly as possible, getting dressed quickly then walked out of their bedroom. He didn’t want to wake Steven up. He grabbed a small bite to eat, then put his shoes on. He grabbed his normal messenger bag, and was out the door. Without meaning to, he left his bag of supplies. By the time he got to Pirata’s supplies, he realized what he forgot. “Shit, shit, shit.” He whispered to himself, mask covering his face. This was not how he wanted his day to start. He decided to drop Pirata’s bag off first, then go back for his supplies. He wouldn’t be able to carry it all at once without bringing suspicion to himself.

Steven woke up to a loud banging noise. He stumbled out of bed at the sound of the door being kicked in, pulling on jeans and a shirt then walking out into the living room to find five armed soldiers. His eyes wide, he had to remember to breathe as he faced guns pointed at Jamie, Dirk, and himself.

“Hands on your head, face the wall.” One of the masked men demanded. Steven did as he was told, heart in his throat. As he turned he saw something to make his breath hitch: Xabi’s medical supply bag. Shit, fuck, damn everything to hell. This would not end well.

They are raiding the apartment, they don’t know what they are looking for was all that Steven could think. They are just looking for people to persecute. They need people to make an example of. They were about to find one. Steven looked to Jamie, face resolute. Jamie’s eyes were narrow, he shook his head once.

“What are you looking for?” Steven asked. One of the faceless soldiers looked at him, raising his gun.

“There was a tip that there was a doctor in this apartment.” Steven closed his eyes momentarily, thanking any higher power that Xabi was not home. Just as the man said why they were here, another found the bag, and opened it.

“Look, evidence.” He said. The man with the gun pointed at Steven ripped his mask off, putting the gun against Steven’s back.

“Whose is this?” He asked. Steven pursed his lips together. The man took his gun and moved it to Jamie’s head. “Whose is it?” He asked again, this time with his finger on the trigger, ready to pull it.

“Mine. It’s mine.” Steven said through gritted teeth. Jamie’s eyes widened, but he remained silent. Steven was yanked from the wall, his hands brought down behind his back and was handcuffed. He was shoeless, in only jeans and a t-shirt. He looked at Jamie.

“Tell him I love him.” He said as hands grabbed his shoulders, pulling him out of the apartment.

Xabi walked quickly from the station, towards his apartment. He still had time before people would be looking for him, he could still make it. As he rounded a corner he saw the patrol car. He stopped dead in his tracks. He could feel his heart beat in his ears. He started running towards them, coming up just in time to see him: Steven in hand cuffs. Tears brimmed Xabi’s eyes as he let out a sob.

“No, no. Steven!” He screamed, ripping the mask off his face. People walked by, not even looking at the commotion, not even caring that someone was being carted away. Steven, his Steven was going to disappear before his eyes. Steven’s eyes met his, and he shook his head at him. Xabi tried pushing past guards, but hands pulled him back. He looked to find Jamie holding him with tears in his eyes.

“Xabi, don’t. It’s done, he told them he was the doctor.”

“No!” Xabi screamed, trying to break free of Jamie’s grip on him. In a flash, Steven was gone. The doors were shut and the car drove away. Jamie let go of Xabi and they stood there in silence as people went about their day as if nothing had happened, nothing at all.

II 5811

i.

Steven’s eyes were brimming with tears as the car drove away. He closed them, letting the tears fall down his cheeks, onto his plain white t-shirt. The look on Xabi’s face when he realized that Steven’ was being taken away was too much to bear. He watched Xabi’s heart break before his very own eyes. The handcuffs hurt, they were digging into his skin and were still behind his back. One of the patrolmen seemed to notice his discomfort, though, and yanked him forward in order to take the handcuffs off.

“Sorry about that, have to make sure you weren’t going to run.” He said, sounding not at all emotionless and harsh like Steven thought they would be. He imagined Dirk in the same uniform, how nice he was. Maybe this man was like Dirk.

“Why not just shoot me and get it over with.” Steven spat. He didn’t want this to go on. He had a pretty good idea what they did with people who disappeared. He was just another statistic now. His life meant nothing to the government. Xabi’s though... He had to remember that they thought he was a doctor. He wasn’t some nameless, faceless person who had nothing they wanted. He had information that was supposed to be long gone.

“We don’t have orders to shoot medical personnel. Just bring them in.” He said. Steven bit his lip. So he wasn’t going to be lined up and shot. That was good to know. As long as they thought he was a doctor he would be kept alive. Until they found out he knew nothing besides the fact that germs existed, and that something neosporin should be put on cuts so they didn’t get infected. Xabi didn’t share information with him, due to the danger.

“Why?” Steven asked., wanting to get as much information out of this man as possible.

“They don’t tell me, man. You best keep quiet.”

Steven sighed, rubbing his wrists idly where the handcuffs cut into them. There was never any traffic, due to the fact that very few people owned cars. Most cars were patrols, or government officials. So when a car side-swiped the patrol car, the driver didn’t know what to do or how to react. Steven was thrown against the patrolman, his side of the car crushed as glass shattered. The driver was dead, the man in the passenger seat was pinned in place while the patrolman to Steven’s side was knocked out. Steven didn’t hesitate, although dizzy and disoriented, he grabbed the patrolman’s gun, and his shoes. Pushing the patrolman out of the car as he stumbled out of it, he quickly put the shoes on. He looked around. The other car was totaled, blood everywhere. People were walking down the side walk, barely giving the wreck notice. Steven searched the patrolman’s pockets, finding his papers. He stuffed them in his pocket then concealed the gun in his jeans. It felt heavy against his back, his head throbbing.

He walked over to the other car, looking inside. The two people in the front seat were dead, or close to it. In the back seat, a boy who barely looked over the age of eighteen’s head was bleeding. Biting his lip, Steven pulled the boy out of the car.

“Can you hear me?” He asked. The boy nodded. “Stay here.” He said, leaning him on the car for a moment as he looked back in the car he had been in. Once he found Xabi’s medical bag, he put it over his shoulder then went back for the boy. He looked around again, not seeing any patrol men yet. “Come on, I’ll help you.” He said as he put the boys arm over his shoulder. The boy complied, putting most of his weight against Steven.

He brought him to the closest alleyway he could find, sitting him down. He opened the bag, looking through Xabi’s things. Tears stung his eyes, touching Xabi’s things. He wiped them away, finding what he thought he was looking for. A brown bottle. He hated the brown bottle with a passion. When the liquid touched cuts, it sizzled and fizzed. He knew he needed to put this on the kid’s head wound to clean it. The kid was looking at the bag with wide eyes.

“Are you a...”

“No, no I’m not. But... I think I know what to do.” He looked at the kid, who looked scared. “What’s your name?”

“Conor.”

“Alright, Conor. This may sting, but it will keep your gash from getting infected.” The kid, Conor, nodded his head. “Close your eyes, I am going to pour it over you.” Conor did as he was told and Steven opened the bottle, pouring a little bit out. Sure enough it bubbled. Conor whimpered, not knowing what he was to expect. Steven then took some gauze and cleaned up some of the blood, then taped some over the gash, hoping he didn’t miss anything. He looked through the bag. There was no way he was going to try stitches. He had only watched Xabi stitch up Jamie the one time, and that was at least two years ago. “Alright. I think that’s all I can do.”

“Thanks.” Conor said.

“Where are we?” Steven asked. He feared for the worst, they had been driving for a good thirty minutes.

“Watford.” Conor spoke as if it were obvious. The kid had probably never left this part of London in his entire life. To be honest, Steven had never been past Wembley. How was he supposed to get back to Knightsbridge? It had to be a good ten hour walk from where he was currently. He sighed.

“How did you lot get a car?” Steven asked. He knew it wasn’t theirs, and that they hadn’t known how to drive it, hence the crash.

“We stole it.” The boy whispered, obviously feeling ashamed and wishing they hadn’t done it.

“I have to get going.” Steven said, standing. He needed get back to Xabi, somehow. “Are you going to be alright?” Steven asked. The kid nodded, pulling his mask up. Steven’s eyes widened. He didn’t have a mask. He was going to stick out like a sore thumb. He bent down, digging through Xabi’s bag, hoping to find one. He didn’t. “Shit, shit.” He said, closing his eyes. When he opened them, the kid had his in his hand, extended out to Steven.

“Here. I live close.” He whispered. Steven took it hesitantly.

“Thanks.” Steven said, amazed that the kid would give him his mask.

“You’re the one with the medical bag. You say you aren’t a doctor, but you sure act like one.” The kid stood, then walked away. Steven knelt there for a moment, then put the mask on. He put the bag back around his shoulder, made sure the gun was secure, and that he had the patrolman’s papers in his hand before he set off on foot. He had to get back to Xabi.

ii.

Xabi stood, dazed, for what seemed like forever and only a second all at once. The car was gone and, with it, Steven. He was gone just like the other countless people who disappear daily. Only it should have been him. He knew, without Jamie telling him, that Steven was only gone because of him. Xabi’s jaw clenched, his hands balled into fists. Jamie stood beside him silently, obviously not knowing what to say.

“He told me to tell you that... he love-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Xabi said through gritted teeth. Jamie hung his head down and sighed deeply. Tears were threatening to fall again, but he didn’t want them. He wanted the entire city to be set on fire, he wanted Steven back.

“I think we should go inside.” Jamie suggested. Xabi looked at him, his face blank. Jamie didn’t have a mask on, and tears stained his cheeks. Xabi’s lip quivered at the sight of Jamie like that. Steven’s best friend. He had to have been just as upset as Xabi was, except he didn’t have guilt ripping him in two like Xabi did. Guilt that Steven had protected him, had put himself first. Xabi walked up the stairs to their apartment slowly. The door was off its hinges, and Dirk was trying to straighten up. As soon as Xabi entered, Dirk rushed over and hugged him.

“I am so sor-”

“Don’t.” Xabi whispered a bit too harshly. “He isn’t gone.” Xabi stated, looking around. Jamie and Dirk exchanged glances.

“Xabi-”

“I am going after him.” Xabi stated, walking into his and Steven’s room, shutting the door behind him. He needed time alone, to think. He ran his fingers through his hair, breathing deeply. Steven wasn’t dead, yet. Perhaps, since they thought he was a doctor, they would keep him alive. Maybe, just maybe, it would be possible to get him back. He had to try. He looked around their sparse room. Nothing in here could be of any use to him, except money. He went to the closet and dug out the box that he kept everything in. All of his savings. He knew for a fact that you could buy your way through in order to see people who have disappeared, could even buy their freedom if it wasn’t too late. He would try that first.

When he opened the door, Jamie was standing there, waiting for him.

“What are you planning?” Jamie asked. Xabi bit his lip.

“I am going to buy him back.” Xabi stated, pushing past him.

“There is no way you have that much money.” Jamie said, strained. Xabi scoffed.

“I do. I have been saving it, for Steven... in case I was taken. Now I have to use it on him instead.” Xabi whispered, pouring his books out of his bag, letting them land on the floor with a thud. He then stuffed the money into the bag.

“I’m coming with you.” Jamie stated. Xabi bit his lip, looking at him for a moment before nodding. It would help him to have Jamie there. Dirk was putting the door back in place.

“I’m going now.” Xabi said, making sure he had a mask and his papers on him. Jamie did the same, then followed Xabi out the door. They took the 49 bus to Wandsworth, where almost everyone was taken to when they “disappeared”. Just because people knew where they went, didn’t mean that they could get to them. Prices to get people back were high, too high for almost everyone in England. Somehow, though, some people gathered enough money for it. It took almost an hour to get there. Xabi was quiet, his hands gripping his bag tightly.

There was a line to talk to the patrolman to even see if Steven was here. Jamie stood beside Xabi, clearly uneasy with this plan.

“What if they ask where you got the money?” Jamie asked. Xabi shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter, does it? I have it. I want him back.”

“I think it will matter.”

“I should be in there, not him.” Xabi said, stubbornly. Jamie sighed, his anger rising.

“He put his life before yours because you are more important, you know that.” Xabi looked at his feet, his jaw clenched. He was not more important. Steven was the most important thing in his life. “Xabi you know your life is more valu-”

“No. I am not going to stand by and watch him disappear because of me.”

“You wouldn’t trade places, though. Give up your freedom...”

“Yes, I would. He shouldn’t have been in any danger.” Xabi whispered. He swallowed, looking around them. They shouldn’t be talking, but he couldn’t help it. Others around him were as well, talking to loved ones as they held onto each other, clearly crying from behind the masks. These people wanted their families back as well. They risked everything, coming here for those who were taken.

They got to a barrier and were stopped.

“One hundred pounds.” A patrolman stated. Xabi’s brow furrowed.

“For what?” He asked, trying to hold his temper in check.

“To move on to the next area.” He stated. Xabi shook his head. He didn’t even know if Steven was in there. “Pay up or get out of the way, you’re holding up the line.” Beside him, Jamie bristled. Xabi handed over the money. Steven had to be here. They walk through, to another line of people. Xabi tried not to think about how long they had been in line, tried not to think about what time it was. They would have to catch a bus by nine in order to make it home in time and even then, they would be cutting it close. He tried not to think about anything, about what they could be doing to Steven. No one knew what happened, but the night Xabi had been taken they had brought him here for questioning. He had been put in a cell with countless others. All he knew is that he was considered lucky. Steven, since he confessed, would most likely not be let go. Ever.

Rumor had it that people were lined up against walls and shot, tossed into mass graves and that was the end. Xabi hoped there was a grace period of some sort. He would give up every last penny for Steven. When he got to the front of the line, the patrolman asked for a name.

“Steven Gerrard.” Xabi said.

“Number.” He demanded. Xabi sighed, closing his eyes, trying to remember Steven’s number. Numbers didn’t consist of just that, though. Numbers and letters strung together. Your number was underneath your name on your papers. It made it easier to track everything you have done. Such as, if you were to look up Xabi’s number it would tell you he had been brought in for questioning, and released. That he had no job, and that he pays his taxes.

“8X17S4GG530” Xabi said, hopeful that he got it correctly. Steven’s was always hard to remember, for some reason. His own number was 14S4X22A1130. Xabi waited patiently as the number was looked up. He bit his lip, half of him hoping it popped up and the other half that it didn’t.

“There is no one here with that name or number.” Xabi’s stomach plummeted. Where was he?

“Okay.” Xabi heard himself say, even though his mind was far from anything that was going on presently. He felt Jamie grab his arms, stirring him out of the building, towards the bus stop. Two hundred pounds to find out Steven wasn’t there. Hours in line for nothing. Xabi wanted to hit something, hard. He wanted Steven in his arms. Jamie didn’t try to talk to him, to which Xabi was grateful. Now he needed a new plan.

He wasn’t going to give up on finding him.

iii.

Steven walked the streets, heading South East, towards Knightsbridge. He knew somewhat the direction that he needed to go, but couldn’t ask for directions. He walked along with people silently, their eyes cast down. He was no one to them, and they were no one to him. He couldn’t take a bus, or the tube. He didn’t bring any money with him and the chances of finding charity were slim to none. He would have to walk the whole way, without food or water. His stomach grumbled.

By the time he made it to Harrow, he had to rest. Uneasy with carrying a bag full of medical supplies, let alone a loaded gun, he sat in an alleyway as he ran his fingers through his hair. Everything would be fine. He could make it back to Xabi easily. They would have to move, surely. Jamie too, and Lucas and Dirk. They would take them all in for questioning once the government found out he escaped. “Shit.” He whispered, closing his eyes. He licked his dry, cracked lips. He just needed to rest for a while.

The next thing he knew, he heard rustling. His eyes shot open and he rushed his his feet, reaching behind himself for the gun, then pointed it at the man in front of him who had his bag. How he managed to get it from around his shoulder, he didn’t know.

“Drop the bag.” Steven said, his voice firm. He cocked the gun. The man had a mask on, but his arms were covered in tattoos, and he had a mohawk. The man dropped the bag, and put his hands up.

“Don’t mean no harm.” He said, his voice accented. Steven, with the gun still pointed at him, reached for the bag, putting it back over his shoulder. “Where’d you nick a gun from?” He asked.

“None of your business. Best leave me be.” Steven said, hushed. Speaking of a pulled gun, even though it was in an alley, would cause attention to himself that he didn’t want. The other man cocked his head to the side.

“Are you a doctor?” He asked. Steven pursed his lips, shaking his head.

“No.”

“Then why do you have a bag full of doctor’s things?” Steven gritted his teeth. He had hoped that the stranger hadn’t looked, that he just was going to steal Steven’s bag not caring what was in it. He wished it was the latter.

“That doesn’t concern you.”

“It does when I have someone that is sick.” Steven swallowed the strangers words, thinking about how Xabi wouldn’t just walk away from someone who needed help. Never.

“What’s wrong with them?” Steven asked, wary.

“I said he is sick.” Steven looked at the man’s tattoos. The only people with tattoos like that he knew were people in the resistance. Or, what he had heard of them. He didn’t know anyone, really, like tattoos like that. But if he was resistance, maybe he could help him get back to Knightsbridge.

“What’s in it for me?” Steven asked, one hand on the pointed gun, the other on the strap of the bag, his knuckles white on both.

“I can pay you.” He offered. Steven thought about Xabi, about money to get on a tube, on a bus. He thought about lying and saying he was a doctor. His mouth went dry. Maybe this man would take him to the resistance.

“Fine.”

“You’ll help me?” He asked. Steven nodded, lowering the gun slowly.

“If you give me enough money to get to Knightsbridge.” Steven countered. The man shrugged.

“Anything if you help. But you’re going to have to put that gun away.” He jested with a smile across his face. Steven put the gun away, although hesitantly. “Alright, follow me.” He started off. Steven followed him as they walked for fifteen minutes, down streets and alleyways until they got to a warehouse with its windows busted and a padlock on the door. Steven wasn’t sure about this, about following him into the building but he didn’t have a choice. The sun would be setting soon and if anything, he needed to get as close to Xabi as he could before curfew.

They climbed into the building where a blanket was laid over one of the smashed out window sills. A chill went down Steven’s spine as they weaved their way through the building. There were people camped out everywhere, in corners on old beat up couches and cushions. Steven hoped they had a soup kitchen nearby that fed them like he did. That they had a Xabi, too. His stomach tightened when he realized that this man thought he was like Xabi. He felt like he was leading the man on.

“I said I wasn’t a doctor, yeah?” Steven said as they ascended a staircase, walking up two flights.

“Yeah, you said. Your secret is safe with me.” He said, winking. Steven raked his teeth across his bottom lip. The stranger didn’t believe him.

They walked over to a group, sitting on newspapers that were stacked up as if they were chairs. One was laying down on an old mattress, covered in a blanket. He was shivering. Steven frowned. There was no way he would know what to do for this person.

“What’s this, then?” One of the men, unmasked, asked. The stranger took his mask off as well. Steven left his on for the moment, especially if the man on the bed was sick.

“Found us a doctor.”

“I’m-” Steven sighed deeply. They wouldn’t believe him. He had medical supplies, of course he was a doctor. This all felt like some crude joke. He wanted to wake up next to Xabi and pull him close and tell him this fucked up dream. He had a feeling that this wouldn’t happen. The best that he could do was try to help him. “I’m here to help.”

A boy, or man... he looked so young to Steven he couldn’t tell how old he was, stood up and checked Steven over.

“Doesn’t look like a doctor to me.” He said, his voice deeper than Steven thought it would be.

“How would you know what a doctor bloody looked like?” The man that found Steven said. “Let him look at Sergio.” Steven looked at the sick man, Sergio, as he took the bag from over his shoulder, then knelt by the mattress. He rummaged through the bag, looking for the thermometer. Xabi made him take his temperature whenever he didn’t feel well. What it meant, though, Steven didn’t know. He knew the higher it was, the sicker you were.

He found it, along with one of the little cover things that Xabi always put over the thermostat.

“Put this under your tongue and hold it in place.” Steven said, hoping that he sounded official even though his hands were shaking slightly. He was breaths were short as he pulled out Xabi’s stethoscope, holding it in his hands. Xabi, Xabi, Xabi...

When the thermostat beeped, Steven took it out of Sergio’s mouth. 38.33 degrees.

“You have a fever.” Steven whispered.

“What does that mean?” The tattooed man asked.

“Can you fix him?” The other asked. Steven swallowed, putting the stethoscope on.

“Sit up, so I can listen to you.” He prompted. All he heard was a heart beat, he didn’t know what he was looking for. This ruse was a horrible idea. He didn’t know what he should do. He moved it around, a couple of places just like Xabi had done to him, to Jamie. He then put it around his neck, liking something of Xabi’s close to him. He dug in the bag, hoping an answer would appear. All he could think of was the time that Jamie was sick, how Xabi had made him drink all the water he could, and crackers. He gave him pills. Steven looked in the zippers, in the pockets for a bottle, any bottle. He could feel eyes on him, everyone watching him. He hoped he didn’t look like he was as lost as he felt. He found the bottle labeled acetaminophen. Fever reducer.

“Thank god.” He whispered to himself as he took two pills from the bottle. “Take these, and drink as much water as you can. You have a fever, put cold compresses to his forehead... wet a   
cloth... until the fever breaks.”

“There has to be more.” The boy said, taking a step closer to Steven. Steven shook his head.

“No, there isn’t.”

“So he is going to die?”

“No. I don’t think so. He just needs to rest.” Steven swallowed, looking up at them. He felt uneasy, being here. The sun was going down. He lost a lot of time. “I... need to get going.”

“I promised you payment.” The tattooed man stated. “I can offer you a place to stay tonight, it’s safe here.” Steven bit his lip. What were the chances that he would find a safe place before curfew? He could start off in the morning just as easily, surely. It would give him more daylight.

“Alright.” Steven said, doubting he would sleep at all. “Do you have any spare food?” He asked. The boy nodded.

“We can add more water to the soup.” Anything would do, he was starving. He would be grateful for anything. Sergio laid back down. Steven realized that he would have to take his mask off in order to eat. Until then, though, he would keep it on.

 

iv.

Once home, Xabi was restless. Dirk was asleep before he had to patrol, and Lucas wasn’t home yet. Jamie had missed a full day of work. Xabi handed him money that he would have made had he gone to the factory. Jamie tried to push it away, but gave in. Xabi knew he needed it, that he was barely getting by.

“Jamie...” Xabi trailed off. He couldn’t even begin to explain what he wanted to do, what he was going to do.

“Leave it, yeah? If you go now, you can still help some people.” Jamie said, his voice resolute. Xabi bit his lip and shook his head. He was not about to let Steven slip from his life forever. He had to try.

“No. I’m going to find him.” Xabi whispered. Jamie sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t expect you to go with me. Actually, I want to go alone.”

“You’re risking your life when Steven gave himself up so that you would be safe. It is asinine, going after him.” Xabi gritted his teeth. He didn’t want Steven to give himself up for him. He wished he hadn’t. It was his fault, he was guilty. He was the one with the information, he was the one who should be in danger.

“Fine.” There was no sense in fighting Jamie. Xabi watched as Jamie went into his room and shut the door, probably to take a nap. Today was certainly draining enough. Xabi’s body called for one as well, but he pushed the feeling aside. He walked over to Dirk and Lucas’ door and put his hand on the handle, opening it as quietly as possible. Dirk was curled up in his bed, with his patrol uniform on a chair. Xabi bit his lip as he tiptoed over, picking them up. He checked the pockets to see if his papers were in the pants. They were. Xabi closed his eyes and sighed with relief. He took the clothes and the papers, then rushed into his room, stuffing them into his messenger bag after dumping the money out. He grabbed some of it back, in case he needed it. The rest he shoved back into the box it was in and put it back as quickly as possible.

He was out the door in minutes. The sun was going down and he had to be as far away from the apartment as possible once curfew came. He would change into Dirk’s uniform and continue on, he had to. He got on the tube and headed towards Parliament.

The streets were crowded, with people getting off work and rushing home as fast as they could. What Xabi needed to do was find the Resistance. He knew it existed in small ways. People listening to pirate radio, like Jamie, and people turning a blind eye to illegal things like Dirk. He knew, though, that some people had to have banded together to help, to make the world better. Sure, he and Pirata could have been considered a resistance but they were just two people. There had to be more. He stood outside Parliament, staring at the cold, emotionless building that cared not for its countrymen. Xabi would set it alight if he thought that it would help. If anything it would be used as canon fodder against the people, twisted and propagandized. Work of terroists who want to hurt and bomb England into oblivion. Xabi sneered. The country’s biggest threat were the people living in it, under the guise of faceless uncaring citizens.

If doing charity and helping people counted as terrorism, then that was what he and Steven were guilty of. Xabi looked away from the building, his eyes narrowed as the giant clock struck half past nine. He didn’t even know where to look for Steven if he wasn’t at the lock up. No one knew where else they were taken. That would be the only place. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, only the needle could be moving, or could be buried. Surely hundreds of people were taken a day, not all were brought to Wandsworth.

There had to be other places, places where maybe they kept people alive, people like him. People with information. Torture? What if they were torturing Steven for information he didn’t have? He would die, because they would think he was holding back knowledge. All Steven knew was simple things that the masses have forgotten. It is impressive what happens when knowledge is locked away, ripped from society.

Hospital buildings, perhaps. Xabi looked around, trying to think of where the closest of the old, boarded up buildings were. He knew most would be full of squatters, people living in them for free because it would be a roof over their head. Hospitals were huge, full of rooms and bathrooms. If Xabi started a resistance he would make a hospital a base. There are so many of them. The government did nothing to them but board them up and put notices around them to keep away, that there were hazardous chemicals in them, certain death. That kept most away. Xabi knew better though, that there wasn’t any harm in a building like this.

When he was younger, he used to search them, try to find any semblance of its past. They were all gutted, all supplies burnt. Some of the hospitals were burnt down as well, in revolt. The good thing about using a hospital is that the patrolmen stayed away as well. They believed the signs, put there long ago. If anything, if people lived there they would be left alone.

Xabi, keeping an eye on the time, slipped Dirk’s uniform on. His heart was beating in his ears. He felt bad for taking it, knowing Dirk would be reprimanded for not only losing his uniform, but losing his papers. Xabi had a day with Dirk’s papers at best because he would be forced to report it missing as soon as he woke up. Xabi could only hope that he wasn’t stopped and questioned about the papers. Wearing the uniform itself was illegal, technically.

His watch’s alarm let him know it was ten. The streets were empty as he walked alone. If his memory served him right, he wouldn’t have to walk far to find St. Thomas’ Hospital. Just off of Park Plaza, it took him a while to find a way inside, since the doors were padlocked. Around the building, he found a busted window with the glass completely cleared away. He slipped in, surprised to find no one on the first floor. Maybe it was a ruse, in case patrols did come through here. A flashlight would have been a good idea, not that he had time to think about what to bring.

He found the staircase leading to the second floor easy enough, along with the door to the second floor, due to the exit sign. It seems as though emergency lighting was still intact in the building after all these years. When he opened the door, he was surprised to find not only that he had stumbled into a resistance headquarters, but that he had two guns pointed at him. He was slammed against the wall, a masked man gripping his shirt tightly.

“Who do you think you are, waltzing in here like you’d be safe?” He asked, with a gun pointed at Xabi’s head. Xabi’s eyes were wide.

“I’m not a patrolman.” He managed to get out. “I stole it.” The grip on him loosened, but the gun remained.

“Why?” Xabi looked at the man, talk with tattoos and a mohawk. He swallowed.

“My... someone I care about went missing this morning.”

“We don’t have them.” The stranger sneered.

“I know that, I need help getting him back.” Xabi said, his voice stronger than he felt.

“We don’t help outsiders, leave before we decide to shoot you for knowing we’re here.” He said, his voice low.

“I can help you, though.” Xabi offered. If they were really resistance, they wouldn’t push away a doctor.

“How, exactly, could you help us?” The man asked, an eyebrow cocked. Xabi reached up to his mask, the guns still pointed at him.

“I’m a doctor.” Xabi whispered as he pulled it away. The tattooed man’s gun came down, but the others didn’t.

“Interesting.” He said, turning to look at a younger boy. “What do you think?” He asked. The kid, barely over eighteen, shrugged.

“Make him prove it.” Xabi bit his lip.

“How do you want me to prove it?” He asked, eyes wide. The tattooed stranger sighed, putting a hand on Xabi’s shoulder, bringing him into a room that was lit by battery powered lanterns. On a table, Xabi saw a map but as they walked in the man flipped it over. Only the kid followed him in, others waited outside. They shut the door.

“Tell me something that you could only know.” Xabi looked from the man to the kid. If he said only something he would know, how would they know he wasn’t lying.

“There used to be this device called an introvenous drip, or an IV, that was used to administer drugs or solutions into your vein so that it would work faster than pills. It was like an injection but was constant.” Xabi said, wishing that it still existed. With how much dehydration he saw, it would be more than helpful.

“That doesn’t sound like something you made up.” The kid said, smiling. “I believe him.”

“Me too.” The other man said, sighing. “So you think we will help you?” He asked. “We aren’t exactly trustworthy.”

“I trust you more than the government who took him.” Xabi stated plainly. The man gave him a sad smile as if he understood.

“We don’t trust you, though.” Xabi frowned, nodding.

“Understandably.”

“You can stay here for the night. We have room. Tomorrow, we are going to need something from you. An act of loyalty, if you will.” Xabi licked his lips, nodding. He knew he would have to do something to get in. They could help him, he knew it.

“Alright. What if I got you medicine?” He asked, thinking of Pirata’s stash that he had moved that morning. It felt so long ago now. The man who he assumed was the leader raised an eyebrow.

“You would give us medicine?”

“Only if you wanted it.” Xabi supplied, gulping. He would be willing to do anything to get Steven back.

“Alright...”

“Xabi.” The tattooed man smiled.

“Alright, Xabi. I’m Daniel.” Xabi nodded. “And that is Martin. Welcome to the Resistance.”

III

i.

Steven woke up later than he normally did, groggy and displaced. It took him a moment to remember that the day before wasn’t a dream, that he really had surrendered himself in place of Xabi, then escaped. He sat up, his head spinning. He didn’t feel well.

“Shit.” He murmured, grabbing Xabi’s bag and finding the bottle of pills. He popped a few of them then looked around. His head felt so heavy he thought it could fall off. Sergio, he must have caught something from him, or from anywhere. Disease and sickness were everywhere.

The strangers were up, talking to each other over a small breakfast. They handed Steven some toast with jam.

“You don’t look too well.” The boy said, frowning.

“I’m fine. Just need to wake up.” Steven said, sitting and sighing. The tattooed man handed him a cup of coffee.

“This should help.” He offered. Steven took it.

“Cheers.” He said, sipping it. It wasn’t the best tasting coffee, but it warmed him from the inside out.

“We didn’t catch your name last night.” The boy said, looking at Steven expectantly. Well, no. They didn’t catch it because he didn’t supply it. His name was everything he had, he didn’t just go around telling people his name. His eyes widened slightly when he realized his mask was off.

“Steven.” He supplied, his voice clipped. He had no intention of giving them his last name until they gave theirs first.

“I’m Fernando.” The kid said, smiling openly. Steven nodded. A name with a face, now. Blonde, younger looking than he probably was. Steven looked to the tattooed stranger.

“Raul, Raul Meireles.” He said. Apparently he didn’t care about hiding his name.

“So about paying me...” Steven trailed off, hoping they didn’t change their minds. His head was fuzzy and all he wanted to do was lay down, but getting back to Xabi was more important. Raul and Fernando looked at each other.

“Well, we don’t have money, per se. But we do have a car.” Raul said, taking a sip of his coffee. Steven raised an eyebrow. He would rather just take the tube back in, or a bus.

“That we would be willing to use to drive you back into town.” Fernando continued. Beggars can’t be choosers, Steven thought. He sighed.

“Thank you, I would appreciate that.” He said.

“Are you sure you want us to take you...home?” Raul asked. Steven’s brow furrowed.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. I figured you were on the run.” Raul shrugged, looking at Fernando. “Didn’t you?” Fernando nodded. Steven bit his lip. “Wouldn’t it be better, say... if we dropped you somewhere, you told us where your friends were and we bring them to you?”

“For secrecy.” Fernando added. Steven’s eyes narrowed.

“No, I am sure if...” He thought for a moment. What if patrolmen were looking for him? He needed a way to get a hold of Xabi. “I wish I could get a message to Xabi.”

“You can. Morse code.” Raul supplied. “That is how the Resistance talks to each other.” Steven’s eyes shot up to Raul’s.

“You’re part of the-”

“Sort of, we work alone.. apart from them. But we have contact.” Raul looked at Fernando, who nodded.

“Could they get a message to someone not in the Resistance?” Steven asked. Fernando shrugged.

“We could certainly try, couldn’t we?” Steven felt relief flood over him. If he could just get word to Xabi...

“Yes, please. That would be helpful. I am sure he is worried, thinking I have disappeared.” Raul nodded, looking at Fernando.

“Why don’t you tell us his name, and Fernando here will get a hold of the Park Plaza base.” Steven bit his lip. Telling them Xabi’s name could put Xabi in danger. But if he was to get back to him, he would have to trust these people. Could he trust them, though?

“His name is Xabi Alonso.” Steven said, Xabi’s name felt heavy on his tongue as he revealed it. “In Knightsbridge. That’s where he should be.” Fernando left at that. Steven sighed, looking down at his hands. Another one of the men came forward.

“Will you need me to drive?” He asked. Raul shook his head.

“No, Fernando and I will take him into town, Alvaro, but thank you for offering. We need you to stay here.” Alvaro looked unhappy about the decision, but said nothing. Steven and Alvaro exchanged glances, but the meaning was unknown to Steven. It had been as though Alvaro had been trying to tell him something. What, though?

Fernando returned shortly after, and nodded at Raul. Raul clapped his hands, then stood, turning towards Steven.

“Ready?” He asked. Steven nodded.

“Let me get my things.” He said, walking back to where he slept. He slipped his mask on, and grabbed Xabi’s bag. As he walked past Alvaro, their eyes met again. He looked as though he was going to say something to Steven, but Raul put his hand on Steven’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly and looking at Alvaro.

“Hold down the fort.” He told Alvaro. With that, they were off.

ii.

Both Daniel and Martin accompanied Xabi to fetch Pirata’s medicine. Daniel wore long sleeves to cover his tattoos, and his mohawk was down. He looked normal, blended in with the rest of the faceless crowd. They had discussed it at length, if Xabi provided them with medicine, they would help him find Steven.

“We have people on the inside who may know where he is.” Daniel had said.

“There are a number of places they could have taken him.” Martin added. “We can’t just waltz into one of them. We have to be sure which location he is at.” Xabi nodded, understanding.

“Perhaps after this is over and done with, you and he will join us.” Daniel said, his eyes on Martin even though he was talking to Xabi. Xabi nodded.

“I would like to continue helping people, yes.” Xabi said, licking his lips. “And Steven will be an outlaw. We cannot go back to our old life.”

“No, you can’t. After this, you can’t even go back to your home.” The words hit Xabi like a punch in the gut. There is no going back. He nodded at Daniel. As long as he got Steven back, he didn’t care where he lived. The thought alone of living his life without Steven by his side made him sick to his stomach, knowing that Steven was taken because of him.

The medicine was easily acquired, Daniel and Martin’s eyes were wide when Xabi showed it to them.

“Do you know what to do with this?” Daniel asked Xabi. Xabi bit his lip and shook his head.

“Not extensively, no. I know some dosages, but I am no pharmacist. I had a partner, but he was taken-”

“Is this who we will be looking for?” Martin asked. Xabi shook his head.

“No, we’re looking for my boyfriend.” Xabi whispered. Daniel and Martin exchanged looks and for a moment Xabi was worried that he had revealed he and Steven’s relationship to these strangers. Relief flooded over him as he saw Daniel reach out and grab Martin’s hand, squeezing it tight as he brought him close.

“He’s lucky that he has someone that wants to find him this badly. Most people give up.” Daniel whispered. Martin’s head was resting on Daniel’s shoulder, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.

“We’ll help you. If something happened to Danny, I would do anything to get him back.” Xabi tried to smile but he felt so restless, so helpless and envious as he watched Daniel kiss Martin’s forehead. Xabi shut his eyes and swallowed. Steven always did that to him when he was tired.

Xabi would be sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, exhausted from the day, and Steven would just come over and brush his lips across Xabi’s forehead, letting him know he was there. Xabi sniffled, forcing back tears that were threatening to form, and opened his eyes.

“I am so worried that they’ve killed him.” Xabi said, his voice quavering. He felt hollow saying the words that haunted his thoughts. Steven, dead. Daniel shook his head.

“No, no. He isn’t dead. If they think he is a doctor, he is safe.”

“Why?” Xabi asked.

“Because they want doctors, pharmacists, anyone with medical knowledge.”

“But it is illegal.” Xabi stated, sighing. “Why-”

“Because they... are planning another Biological Warfare attack.” Martin said, his voice hushed. Shocked, Xabi’s eyes widened.

“What? Why? That was the reason we don’t have anything now, no surgeries, no real medicine, disease-”

“They want to use it against the threat.” Daniel said, emphasizing the word threat with his voice. It sounded sarcastic to Xabi.

“What fucking threat?” Xabi asked. “They destroyed everything, everyone. There is no threat.”

“We are the threat.” Martin whispered. “Those who want medicine, want to make a better place for ourselves.”

“We can’t let that happen. They will wipe out everything, everyone.” Xabi couldn’t believe that the government would be that idiotic, blinded by ‘the threat’ that they would kill everyone.

“Let’s get this medicine back to base and let Martin and I send out inquiries, see if Steven has shown up.” Daniel said, picking up the heavy bag. Xabi let him. His head was full of too many thoughts, too many scenarios. Once they found out that Steven didn’t know anything, he would be dead. Xabi hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

iii

Steven got into the back seat of the car and put Xabi’s bag in his lap, his fingers clutching it close. The car ride was mostly silent, with the radio on low. Propaganda spewed out in one ear and out the other. News held no weight to him. It took too much effort to weed out the truth of any story and his mind was too preoccupied to do it at present. He closed his eyes, thinking about Xabi, about what his face would look like once they found him. He would kiss him, take his mask off and push him against a wall, any wall. With a tear in his eye Xabi would tell him how much of an idiot he was for taking Xabi’s place and he would just laugh at Xabi and tell him that there was never anything to worry about.

It wouldn’t be long, now.

What Steven hadn’t expected was for the car to turn off unexpectedly. He opened his eyes as the car doors opened, Raul and Fernando getting out and opening his door. Steven looked at the building and his stomach dropped. They had driven him right into the heart of the beast. They were turning him in. Panic ripped through him as they pulled him out of the car. He wouldn’t go without a struggle, though. He threw a punch to Raul, effectively giving him a black eye as he turned towards Fernando to do the same. Men came filing out of the building with guns. Steven spit in Fernando’s eye.

“Traitor.” He said vehemently as he dropped Xabi’s medical bag and he took off as fast as he could. His heart was in his throat as he made his way towards a closing gate. If he just could slip out-

Steven was tackled to the ground, his cheek scraping against the pavement. His hands were yanked behind him, handcuffs put on them, cutting into his skin. He was pulled to his feet by his hair, pain emanated throughout his body. He struggled against them as he was all but dragged towards the building, past Raul and Fernando.

“You fucking pieces of shit I hope you rot.” Steven screamed, his voice cracking with anger. Fernando smirked, Raul’s face remained stoic. Steven watched as they were handed a reward. A reward for bringing in a doctor.

Fuck them, fuck everything. Alvaro had tried to tell him, before they left. Alvaro hadn’t wanted them to do it. Steven was blinded by them, he thought they really wanted to help him. He wanted to throw up. He had thought they really had tried to get a hold of Xabi. Instead, they called it in that they had someone. Steven tried to break free from the masked men’s grip to no avail.

They walked into an elevator where in the silence Steven could hear his heartbeat, his breathing. He licked his dry lips, blinking as all thoughts left him. He felt numb, empty. There was nothing left, now. Hope was lost.

They walked into what looked like a warehouse. People in white haz-mat suits walked around, not noticing Steven or the men holding him. Just another normal day at the office for them, Steven supposed. That was when he saw it, the collars. They were all wearing collars. His eyes widened.

These were all doctors, or some form of them. Descendants of doctors. Without realizing it was happening before it was too late, he heard a click and the press of cold metal against his neck. They collared him, too. He felt a faint pulse from it, which disturbed him greatly. He twisted his neck back and forth. It was uncomfortable.

“Glad you could join us.” A man in a suit said, smiling at Steven as he came into view. “You’ve eluded us for some time.” Steven couldn’t help but scoff at the man. Eluded? He wasn’t a fucking doctor, he shouldn’t even be here. The nameless man’s eyes narrowed. “Something funny?” He asked Steven. Steven shrugged.

“I mean, I wasn’t that hard to find.” Steven said, sighing. No hope, no escape, no leaving. He would rather have the shit kicked out of him now, before they found out he had no knowledge at all of what they were doing, or wanted him to do. That would result in a quick death, he suspected. That or prison. He had his money on being lined up against a wall, though.

The smack to the face stung against the road rash he had already acquired on his cheek. He could taste blood on his lips as his tongue ran along them, his gaze averted from the men.

“Get him into proper attire for his work.” Steven planted his feet firmly on the ground as the men tried to take him away.

“You’ve made a mistake.” Steven said as he gritted his teeth at the effort of staying in place.

“I’m afraid not.” The man said as he motioned for something to be brought forward. It was Xabi’s bag. Steven’s eyes widened, his breath hitching in his throat. “These belong to you, I believe.” Steven shook his head.

“No, they don’t.” He said laughing. They weren’t his. He didn’t even know what half of the shit in that bag was. They were Xabi’s.

“Now, now. You shouldn’t lie. Your captors told us what you did for their friend, how you used the objects in this bag-”

“Yeah, and I fucking lied to them.” Shot against a wall it is, then. “I don’t know the first thing about medicine.” Steven spat. The man looked down at a clipboard he was holding.

“It says here that you were apprehended in Knightsbridge, that you admitted that the bag was yours, and that you somehow escaped.” He looked back up at Steven with raised eyebrows. Steven scoffed. He had to watch what he said, or they would go after every single person in their flat, including Xabi.

“Just because it is mine doesn’t mean I know how to use it. Finders keepers and all that.” He said, hoping his voice didn’t waver as he lied. He was a dead man, but that didn’t mean that Xabi had to be.

“Where did you find it?” Steven shrugged.

“Around. You’d be surprised what people leave-” A punch to the gut had Steven hunching over in pain.

“I am sick of this, take him to the back and lock him up with the other.” Steven went silently, without struggle. He shoved him into a room with another man, without taking off his handcuffs. Steven stood at the door after it shut on him, staring at it.

He’s going to die here.

“That looks pretty bad.” Steven turned around to see the other man in the small room. “I’m Esteban, by the way.” He said, giving a small smile as he stood.

“Steven.” Steven offered as he turned around fully, backing away from him. What if he was against him as well? Steven couldn’t trust anyone, now.

iv

As soon as they arrived at the Resistance headquarters, Daniel was handed a message.

“It came from Harrow, Dagger.” Martin Skrtel, Daniel’s right hand man, said as he handed him a slip of paper. Daniel read over it quickly, looking to Xabi then silently handing it over to him. Xabi’s heart sank as the paper fell to his hands. How could it be for him? He looked down at the message and gasped:

> DAGGER - DOCTOR FOUND AND GIVEN UP FOR BOUNTY - EN ROUTE TO 666 - NAME STEVEN FROM KNIGHTSBRIDGE

Xabi dropped the message to the ground. Steven had escaped, only to be taken in for a bounty. A hand covered Xabi’s mouth as he gasped. Maybe if he covered his face, the tears wouldn’t come. They threatened to emerge as he felt Martin Kelly’s hand on his shoulder, meaning to be comforting. Xabi shut his eyes tightly, forcing thoughts and memories of Steven to stop from flooding into his mind.

“What is 666?” Xabi asked, his voice shaky.

“It’s what we call one of their bases, where we think they are doing all of the chemical and medical work.” Martin whispered beside him. “They probably took him there so he could work-”

“He can’t work on anything! They are going to kill him. He isn’t a doctor,” Xabi screamed, taking a step away from Martin. They couldn’t help him, now. Not if Steven was where they said. Some secret base where the government had been fucking with medicine without letting the population know. Daniel and Martin exchanged glances.

“We can still help you.” Xabi shook his head, looking upwards at Daniel’s words. He needed to believe him, but at this moment all he felt was dread and a strong sense of defeat.

“Who sent the message?” Xabi asked, barely above a whisper.

“His name is Alvaro and he is one of our informants in bed with a so-called resistance group. All they are... are outlaws who bounty hunt doctors and the like. They shouldn’t carry around our name, but they do.” Xabi bit his lip. “He tracks what they do for us, we like to know what they are fucking up.” Daniel said, his voice pained as if he understood how Xabi felt. “We have people inside 666, Xabi.” Xabi’s eyes shot up to Daniel’s.

“Danny, no-” Martin started. Daniel silenced him with a look.

“Yes, they have been there for over a year. We’ve been slowly piecing together the security outfits, for when we infiltrate it.”

“We aren’t ready-”

“We have to be, now.” Daniel said, looking at Martin. “We have at least five Resistance members in 666.” Xabi tried not to scream ‘only five?!’ at Daniel, but he held his tongue. They were willing to help him get to Steven. If anything, he would die trying to get to Steven. “Let us contact them, see if they have heard anything about Steven. What is his number?” Daniel asked. Xabi hesitated at first, but he knew that they needed it to help find Steven.

“8X17S4GG530.” Xabi said as he watched Martin Skrtel write the number down, then disappear.

“He’ll find where they are keeping him, or if he is even there yet.” Xabi nodded solemnly. “We have four uniforms, in total, pieced together. We weren’t planning on going in just yet.”

“Are we just going in for Steven?” Martin asked. “Or are we taking the weapons now as well?” Daniel sighed.

“For now? We are going to cause havoc.”

“What do you mean?” Xabi asked. Daniel picked up what looked as if it was a collar of some sort. He handed it to Xabi. It was heavy, metal.

“What-”

“That is what they probably have around Steven’s neck.” Xabi gulped.

“Why?”

“So they know where everyone is, so they can keep track of heart rate, so they can cause pain.” Daniel’s voice dropped off at the end, as if he didn’t want to tell Xabi exactly what the collar was used for. “So they can’t escape.”

“If Steven has this around his neck, then how are we going to get him out alive?” Xabi asked. Daniel gave Xabi a small smile.

“Because we broke the code for them. As long as we have his number, we can free him. Our issue has been getting doctors’ numbers.”

“So we are only freeing Steven?” Xabi asked. Daniel shook his head, putting his hand on a list that was next to the map that Daniel had flipped over the day before.

“We have found most of them, thanks to families looking for them, knowing what they were. We’re about to turn all of their collars off. Mass exodus.”

“Surely most will die.” Xabi said, thinking of how many soldiers would be in the building. Daniel nodded.

“Some. But if we are there, posed as guards, we can find Steven before we unlock the collars.” Xabi’s heart was beating in his throat. They were really going to do this.

Martin handed Xabi a uniform and a vest, almost identical to Dirk’s but more official, with patches, more elaborate. A helmet with insignia and gas mask instead of just a cloth cover.

“How will Steven know it’s me if I am under this?” Xabi asked. Daniel smirked.

“That’s how we are going to get him out,” Daniel started to say, as he himself got dressed in the same uniform Xabi was. “We have to make him think we are taking him out to be executed.” Xabi’s eyes widened.

“No.” Xabi whispered.

“We won’t really, of course. We just need to get him alone, closer to an exit.” Daniel assured him. Xabi didn’t like that, Steven thinking that Xabi was about to kill him. “Once we are alone you can reveal yourself to him.”

There were so many variables, Xabi wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole situation. All he knew, though, was that they had to try.

v

“Do you want me to take a look at your wrists?” Esteban asked Steven. Steven shook his head. He didn’t want to talk to this stranger, he just wanted them to kill him. Them dragging it out was useless, it wasn’t as if he would suddenly come across more information.

“Why are you in here?” Steven asked Esteban. Esteban gave a short laugh.

“Because I spit in one of the guards faces when he told me to do something that would harm the population.” Esteban said, walking forwards, squatting so he could take a look at Steven’s bleeding wrists. Steven hissed and turned so he couldn’t touch them.

“What do you mean?” Steven asked, “harm the population?”

“Biological warfare. One of the things they are fucking with here is anthrax. Ever heard of it?” Esteban asked. Steven shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. I thought it was a myth, really. But no, they fucking want me to make it.”

“How could you make something that is a myth?” Steven asked.

“They have documents that explains it, but only someone like me can read it.”

“Like you?”

“Pharmacist. It looks like a load of gibberish to them.” Esteban said, standing and sighing. “I’m no doctor.”

“Neither am I.” Steven said, averting his gaze.

“Then why are you here?” Esteban asked.

“I told them I was to cover for someone.” Steven whispered. “So that they would stay safe.” Esteban pursed his lips as he listened to Steven. “Hopefully it worked.”

“They’re lucky to have someone that cares so much that they would risk their lives-” Esteban stopped mid sentence as the door opened, and in walked three men, with a fourth remaining outside. Two of the men grabbed Steven by his arms. He grunted, his wrists tugged apart, the metal digging into his skin was beyond painful. “Be careful with him, you fuckers are hurting him!” Esteban said. Steven’s eyes shot to him, aghast that Esteban would talk to guards like that. Esteban looked as if he was about to hit one of them. The guard to Steven’s left looked at Esteban.

“We need to bring him as well.” He said, through the gas mask. Steven shook his head. No, no. Executed for spitting? For yelling? That seemed unfair. Steven didn’t struggle as he watched the men put cuffs on Esteban, loose. As they walked down the hallway, Steven noticed that their grips on him weren’t very tight. He could try to run, but how far would he get? Not very. Would he rather die running, or standing against a wall.

They walked towards an elevator. Once they were out of it, he would run. That was his decision. Once in the elevator one of the guards turned to him and started to take off his mask. Steven shifted uneasily.

“Stevie.” The masked man whispered. Steven’s eyes shot up, tears formed as he laughed. Arms wrapped around him, squeezing him. Xabi was standing in front of him. He had found him.

“Xabi how- what... how did you find me? I haven’t been here but-” Xabi kissed Steven on the lips, his fingers raking through Steven’s hair. Steven closed his eyes, falling into the kiss. He thought he would never see Xabi again, let alone feel his lips against his. One of the other guards cleared his throat, and Xabi backed away slightly.

“We don’t have much time.” He said. Xabi nodded.

“I know, I know. Steven, let Martin take those cuffs off of you, they’re going to get infected if we don’t-”

“No time to clean them right now.” A guard said as another bent down to free Steven of the shackles. After he was done with Steven he went to Esteban. Xabi turned towards Esteban then hugged him.

“Pirata, you’re alive.” Steven’s jaw dropped.

“You’re Pirata?”

“You’re _the_ Steven?” Steven couldn’t help but smile.

“This is a lovely reunion and all but Pirata, whoever you are, we need your number, now.” One of the guards said.

“Why?” Esteban asked.

“Because we are about to jail break you so fucking hand it over before it’s too late.”

“Daniel, calm.” Xabi said as his fingers linked with Steven’s. Steven felt like he was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. This was a hallucination he was having just before the bullet hit him. Any second now, he would be dead.

“11EX25G7M287.” Esteban said quickly. Daniel took out a walkie talkie and said the number himself, but heard no reply.

“Let’s hope it wasn’t too late, Xabi, mask back on.” Xabi did as Daniel asked, his eyes never leaving Steven’s. “Alright, the plan is, as soon as we hit the bottom floor and make our way to the exit, the collars will be turned off. We need you to keep your hands together as if cuffed, we need to keep the ruse as long as possible.”

“You’re turning all of the collars off?” Steven asked. Daniel nodded.

“All of the collars for the numbers we have.”

“How?” Esteban asked.

“No time for that now.” Daniel said before lifting the walkie talkie once more, “t-minus two minutes.” The elevator hit the ground floor and Xabi took Steven’s arm as if he were dragging him. Martin took Steven’s other as Daniel and another nameless, faceless Resistance member took the other. Steven couldn’t think as they walked silently down the hall. Guards were everywhere, nodding as they passed. Sweat dripped down his neck, he felt like he was underwater. Everything was moving slowly, sounds weren’t registering right with him. All he could hear was his own breathing. Xabi was next to him, Xabi was here with him.

Suddenly, the pressure on Steven’s collar lessened, then died out completely. The door was in sight, mere steps away as the alarm went off. Jarred, the guards looked around, surprised. Their group kept walking. A guard halted them.

“We can’t let you out, not with the alarm-”

“We have orders.”

“The collars-”

“These men are about to be killed, what does it matter that their collars don’t work?” Daniel all but screamed at the man. The guard stepped aside. Steven kept his eyes on the ground. He didn’t want to give anything away, not now. Xabi’s thumb was moving up and down, rubbing against his arm, calming him. That small, minuscule gesture had just the right effect on Steven.

Instead of turning right, to where the executions took place, they turned left, towards one of the government’s black vans. Just as they opened a door, shots rang out.

“Fuck, fuck.” Steven heard Daniel shout as bullets ripped past them, around them. Steven was pushed to the ground. “We need to get out of here.”

Xabi was next to Steven, gasping for air.

“Xabi are you, were you shot?” Steven asked, his eyes wide with panic. Xabi nodded.

“Yes.” He said through gritted teeth. If Xabi died now, here, Steven would never forgive himself. “It’s alright. This uniform, it has a bulletproof vest.” Steven breathed out. He hadn’t even realized that he had held it in. “It hurts like a mother-”

“Don’t you fucking get shot again.” Steven spat. Xabi grunted beside him. There was a cease in the fire, and Steven shot to his feet, grabbing Xabi and getting them into the van as quickly as possible. Behind him, Daniel dragged Martin whose leg was covered in blood.

“Is he hit?” Steven asked as gunfire exploded around them once more, the door shutting just in time.

“Yes.” Daniel said, his voice void of all emotion as he climbed into the passenger seat next to Martin Skrtel who was quickly trying to hot wire the car. Xabi, wincing from the pain of the bullet he took, went to Martin’s side, stripping off his shirt to tie off Martin’s leg to stop the blood flow. Steven looked around the van. There was nothing. His hands were shaking as they went to his neck, removing the disabled collar. He tossed it to the side. Esteban did the same, but was watching Xabi.

“What can I do, Xabi?” Esteban asked. Steven sat, watching them work with no tools. Steven removed his own shirt, handing it to them. Xabi was covered in Martin’s blood as it gushed over his hands. Dazed, Steven zoned out as he watched Xabi work, his brow knit as he talked to Martin in hushed tones.

When they got to their headquarters, word got out that the freed doctors set fire to 666. The building blew up because of all of the chemicals in it, incinerating the biological warfare that they had gathered. The rest of their crew, who had been undercover, were due to be only minutes behind them. Martin was carried into a room and placed on a desk.

“I need clean cloth, ripped into strips and hot water.” Xabi demanded, his voice booming over the commotion. “I wish I had my bag.” Steven heard Xabi whisper to Esteban. Xabi’s bag was in the building, gone now. It wasn’t as if he could go around to the corner store and get more supplies. Those had taken Xabi most of his life to find. “Oh that reminds me, Pirata. Your medicine is here.”

“It what?” Esteban asked. Steven was so overwhelmed by everything, how Xabi found the Resistance, how they came for him so quickly, how these people trusted Xabi. He was amazed at what he could do.

“I had to give it to them, to show good faith. I thought you were gone.” Someone brought Esteban his medicine, much to Esteban’s relief. Steven’s wrists still hurt, dried blood and dirt covered them. Xabi had to deal with the bullet wound, though. Steven could wait.

vi

Xabi couldn’t believe when his bag showed up with the second van.

“I believe this is yours.” One of the undercover men said as they brought it to him. He couldn’t help but hug him, covered in blood like he was, as he took the bag from him.

“Oh, thank you. You just saved Martin’s life with this.” Xabi set the bag down, opening it up and getting what he needed from it. He needed to extract the bullet, he needed to clean the wound, to stitch it up. It was going to be a long night. He knew Steven was there, watching him but leaving him be. Daniel was there too, but not as invisible. Xabi felt like he was hovering, worried about Martin.

“Daniel, he will be fine.”

“He’s lost a lot of blood.” Daniel’s voice sounded weak, defeated. Xabi nodded solemnly. Esteban had given Martin a sedative that knocked him out so that Xabi could work without Martin screaming in pain. Daniel was holding onto Martin’s hand, his hands just as covered in blood as Xabi’s were.

“I need more clean water.” Xabi whispered. Daniel nodded, letting go of Martin’s hand. Xabi turned to look at Steven, who hadn’t moved as Xabi worked. “Stevie, why don’t you get some slee-”

“No. I’m not leaving you.” Steven said. Xabi couldn’t help but feel the words as Steven spoke them. It felt like if Steven went out of his sight that this would be all an illusion, that he would be gone. Xabi nodded, understanding why Steven wouldn’t leave the room.

By the time Xabi was finished, he was exhausted. Daniel said he was going to stay up with Martin until he woke up and showed Xabi and Steven to a room that would be theirs for as long as they wanted it. Since it was in a hospital, the room had its own bathroom, and a mattress on the floor big enough for both of them. Xabi sat Steven down in the bathroom with his medical bag beside him, cleaning Steven’s wrists and patching up the gash on his cheek where he was forced to the ground.

“I hate the brown bottle.” Steven said as Xabi got it out. Xabi smiled.

“I know you do, but I need to pour this over your wrists.” Steven tried to pull his hand away as Xabi yanked it over the sink. Steven stilled, though, as Xabi’s thumb traced small circles on Steven’s hand. Steven closed his eyes and counted to ten, cringing as the hydrogen peroxide poured over his wounds. Once his wrists were wrapped in gauze and taped Steven closed his eyes, resting his head against Xabi’s stomach as Xabi stood before him. Xabi’s fingers raked through Steven’s hair.

“You’re alive.” Xabi whispered. Steven sighed, humming slightly before opening his eyes to look up at Xabi.

“You found me.”

“I love you.” Xabi said, the words coming out garbled because they got stuck in his throat. Steven stood, his hands cupping Xabi’s face as he backed him into their room. Xabi turned his face, taking a thumb into his mouth as he looked at Steven. His chest welled up, he kept feeling as if he would break into tears he was so happy. Steven backed him into a wall, their lips crashing together in a desperate kiss. They kissed as if they needed it to survive, hands sliding quickly over their bodies, their torsos pressed together. “Don’t you ever,” Xabi started between open mouthed kisses, “fucking do that again.” He said as he flipped Steven so that he was pressed against the wall.

“I did it for you.”

“I don’t care.” Xabi hissed as he pulled at Steven’s buttons on his pants, yanking them down. “I don’t fucking care who you did it for.” His fingers gripped Steven’s chin, kissing him harshly, his teeth raking across Steven bottom lip. “Promise me, promise me you won’t do something like that again.”

“I can’t do that.” Steven said, his hands on Xabi’s waist as he stepped out of his pants, pushing Xabi towards the bed. “I would do it again, if it kept you safe.” Steven straddled Xabi as he held him down on the bed, their chests heaving. Lips meeting again, Xabi grasped Steven’s cock, stroking it as Steven moaned atop of him, his hips rolling, grinding against Xabi. Xabi panted for breath as the kiss ended.

“Who will keep you safe, then?” Xabi asked. Before Steven could reply, Xabi rolled him over, pinning him down. Steven grunted as Xabi quickened his pace, his mouth marking Steven’s neck.

“I need you.” Xabi whispered into Steven’s ear as a finger pressed against Steven’s entrance as the other hand jacked him off. “I want to feel you around me.” He nipped at Steven’s lobe, his mouth on Steven’s neck. Steven moaned, his hips bucking upwards into Xabi’s fist.

“Yes, Xabi. Fuck me.” He said, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Xabi as their mouths crashed together once more.

Xabi moaned into Steven’s kiss as he pushed Steven onto his back. Xabi disposed of his own pants, then went to the bathroom to sift through his bag. He kept condoms in a pocket of it to hand out to his patients for free. Disease and pregnancy are things he didn’t encourage. Raising a child in these circumstances-

Xabi shook his head, now was not the time for such thoughts. Thoughts not about the naked man in their bedroom. A man he would do anything to get back, that gave himself up for Xabi. Xabi ran back to the bed, kissing Steven’s stomach, his tongue played along the divots of his hip bones before taking Steven into his mouth. Steven moaned his name as he took him down deep, gagging on him then using the spit to press inwards with his fingers, opening Steven up for him.

“Oh, jesus christ Xabi.” Steven panted as Xabi took him back into his mouth, sucking and lapping at him as he added another finger. When Steven was ready for him, Xabi licked up Steven’s shaft once, then nipped at the flesh on his thigh as he sat up, opening the condom wrapper then slipping it on. Steven sat up, crawling onto Xabi’s lap, sitting face to face as he impaled himself on Xabi’s cock. He wrapped his arms and legs around Xabi as they fucked slow, hard, and deep, kissing as they held each other closely, not wanting to let go. Panting in each others ears, teeth grazing across skin, Xabi pushed Steven onto his back, his arms hooking underneath Steven’s, holding onto him as he fucked him harder and faster. Steven made noises with every thrust, every time Xabi slid in and out of him, his voice raw. Xabi loved the noises, wanted more of them. He bit Steven’s neck, marking it as his. Steven shuddered beneath him, coming all over his chest. Xabi bent his torso in order to get to it, licking it up then kissing Steven. He came shortly after, as Steven’s come touched his own tongue. The noise Steven made pushed Xabi over the edge. He wanted him, needed him, loved him.

And he had him back, that was all that mattered. They were together. Nothing could come between them, nothing.


End file.
